Dads........

Some friends sent me these lovely poems which are about dads and their angels, i think morgan, like me, is blessed with the very best dad in the world.

Don't cry for me daddy, For I am right here.

Although you can't see me, I can see your tears.

I visit you often. and Go to work with you each day,

and when it's time to close your eyes, on your pillow is where I lay.

I hold your hand and stroke your hair and whisper in your ear.

If you're sad today daddy, remember I am here.

God took me home now, this we know is true.

But you will always be my daddy, even though I am not with you.

I will always be daddy's little Angel, we will never be apart.

For every time you think of me, please know I am always in your heart.

Father's Grief

It must be very difficult

To be a man in grief,

Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"

No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult

To stand up to the test,

And field the calls and visitors

So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right

And what she's going through.

But seldom take his hand and ask,

"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night

And thinks his heart will break.

He dries her tears and comforts her,

But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult

To start each day anew.

And try to be so very brave-

He lost his baby too

My Bonsai Tree

I wanted to share with you my bonsai tree, i got it as a present from a little boy on my first day back at work. I had been dreading going back and seeing the kids again but this made it alot easier.. im lucky to have those little kids in my life. My beautiful bonsai now has pride of place in our living room.

being morgans mum

imikimi - Customize Your World

Morgans Pink Cherry Blossom

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi

This is a picture of the tree we planted in our garden in Morgans Memory. She is always close by and watching over us xx

My Baby's Footprints

How very softly you tiptoed into our world,
almost silently,
for a short while you stayed,
but what an inprint your footsteps have left on our hearts

Our Story

After my daughter Morgan passed away i discovered there are very few places for people to find out what triploidy is and how it effects both the baby and the family! I have now decided to start this blog and hopefully it will answer some questions for people who are going through something similar.

On the 24th July 2008 i went for my usual 34 week check up, i had had a blissful pregnancy with no worries or complications. She was our first child!There had been a little confusion after my first scan but we just assumed my dates had got mixed up!! Now looking back, morgan had not been growing from the start of my pregnancy. However at my appointment the docs suddenly discovered the baby was not growing correctly, she was about the size of a 28 week old baby, and she had no fluid around her, i was rushed in for emergency c section and my daughter morgan was born just before 9am on 25th July. She weighed just over 2 pounds but looked and seemed perfect. although the docs told us they were doing chromosome tests and something may be wrong we were so hopeful, i had no reason to be anything else. .morgan was doing well, she took the breast milk well and they doubled the feeds until she was on 12mls every 2 hours which was great. she did not need a ventilator or oxygen, she was strong and perfect but just soooo tiny.

she continued to do well but two weeks later we were told she had tripoloidy with no chance of survival, it was a huge shock and we were devastated, it was worse than we had ever imagined. Triploidy is a very rare chromosome disorder and very few babies are born alive, let alone survive more than a few hours. Since this has happened i have spoke to many people who lost their baby to triploidy but most of the babies were miscarried or died before birth, only a tiny amount actually lived for a few hours.

We decided to take her home, there was nothing the hospital could do and we decided we wanted to spend our limited time together in our own home. we had 4 precious days with her at home, she was just like any other baby except tiny, we had sleepless nights with her and we showed her off to our visitors. her grandparents came to stay and they spoiled her she made us laugh and cry all at the same time!!

we took her to hospital to have her feeding tube changed on the 14th August and she suddenly but peacefully passed away in my arms. again i was shocked and devastated we thought we would have longer, did i make the most of our time together, why did she not get to meet more of the family.... but in the end she did not suffer and that was my wish

we are beginning to put our life back together but i wanted to share my story,. its tragic and devastating but i had my daughter home and got photos and shared her with my husband and reading other stories i realise maybe i was luckier than i think... i had that chance and maybe I can now offer hope to others awaiting their triploidy babies arrival.

xx